Monday, December 12, 2016

It's been a while

It's been a while, but I plan on starting to post more regularly again. These days, I think I need to. For my own peace of mind.

I wrote a book, spent a lot of money with editors to help me with both the manuscript, synopsis and query letter. But I have yet to find someone interested in the manuscript. So far, only refusal. Which breaks my heart, because I love my story.

I am not giving up on it yet, and even started working on two new projects. One is the continuation of that book, another is a memoir.

But that worries me, too, you see. Because, although I have lived a great deal of things in my life, I don't think what I have lived is so amazing. So is it worth writing about it or will I get a lot of rejections, again?

I am writing about how, in my 20s, I searched for love. And instead, came face to face with questions about rape, my sexual orientation, my sexual preferences, open relationships, 'closed' relationships, porn, prostitution, etc. Those are all questions I think many people are asking themselves.

I am poorly discussing this, but that's because I don't want to give too much details just yet. This was just a bridge to the thing that bothers me most right now: my sister.

My sister doesn't bother me. That's not it. It's what she's been saying lately.

My sister has been having a hard time with dating lately. I understand that. I have, too. That's what I'm talking about in my book.

She meets guys online on site dating website, and meets them. And well, most of the times it's a total disaster. Lately, she met with a guy and the guy was insisting a lot to have sex with her. He started touching her in an inappropriate manner.

So she went to the police (it's not the first time something like this happens, and in the past I had told her to go to the police). The police registered her complaint and that was it. But she is very distraught by it.

So she told me about it. And having gone through sexual abuse myself, I didn't want her to go through the spiral of dark thoughts I went through. The first time I was raped, I didn't know what had happened to me. I wasn't sure it was raped, because the guy said he loved me, and so I wasn't sure how someone who said loved me could do me wrong -- it was all very confusing. I cried all the time, and stopped eating.

It took me a year before I finally managed to talk about it to someone, my aunt, and then I told my mom (although I waited until she was drunk and wouldn't remember it, just because it was easier for me). I even told my sister, but she told me: "a rape, but you wanted it", which hurt me a lot. She was referring to me starting to wear different kind of clothing when I started to hang out with that guy. Even my mom had told me then: "Don't tempt the devil," meaning that if I dressed in a provocative manner, I was tempting guys to do things with me, things I didn't want.

So basically, it was my fault. And for a long time, I thought it was. So obviously, I didn't want my sister to go through the same feelings of guilt. I told her, "yes, you're a victim, but don't let it affect you -- don't let it bring you down."

I was saying that because she started having very dark thoughts, about men and life in general, and I found it dangerous that she was generalising. I said it extensively and never meant to say that she wasn't a victim and that she shouldn't talk about it....which apparently she understood as such.

That hurts me. How can she think I would tell her she is not a victim? All I wanted to say is that I wanted her to stay positive, to stay strong.

It's really hard to talk to her, because lately she seems to think everybody is against her. She wants to talk to people about what happened to her, and I understand that. If she can talk about it, it can only do her good. But she feels the family shuts her down when she talks about it.

I tell her it's not because the family is against her; it's because sexual aggression in general is a difficult topic and it leaves people uncomfortable, so they might not want to talk about it. I suggested she finds someone to talk to, a shrink maybe, or if she needs to talk to the family about it, then tell the family that this is important for her to talk about it as it makes her feel better.

She understood it as me telling her not to talk about it, and resents me for that. What???

I know she is emotionally unstable now. Because of the shock she went through. And she has some sort of paranoia that makes her twists my words around.

I really don't know how to deal with her anyway. How to help her. Suggestions?

Thursday, April 30, 2015

"Better Than Chicken Nuggets" Nuggets

I have made that recipe twice for meat lovers, and they absolutely loved it. Plus, they are much healthier, and cruelty-free (obviously)!



Olive oil (just enough to cook the mushrooms and onions)
1 onion, diced
3 artichoke hearts, diced
2 cloves of garlic, crushed
4 cups of mushrooms, minced (it can be white mushrooms or a mixture of white and shimeji or others)
Salt and pepper to taste
2 1/4 cup of oats (not the fast cooking kind!)
White flour
Vegetable oil to fry


Cook the onions in a little bit of olive oil until they are translucent. Add the mushrooms, artichokes and then the garlic. Salt. Cook the mushroom until they shrink in size and lose a lot of their water. Add the oats to the mushroom mixture. The oat will cook with the liquid from the mushroom first. Once the liquid as completely absorbed, add water to cover the mushroom and oat mixture completely and let it cook again until the water is all evaporated/absorbed. You will have a mushy mixture.

Let it cool down a little before making the balls, otherwise you will burn yourself!

Prepare a bowl with with flour in it. Once the mixture is cool enough for you to touch it, form nuggets with the dough and coat them with white flour with the flour bowl. Put aside. Repeat until you have no more dough left.

Fry the nuggets in hot vegetable oil until brown on all sides. Place on a plate with paper towel to get rid of the excess oil.


Side Dish: Deluxe Green Salad with Pears, Tomatoes, Artichokes and Pesto Dressing

How about a Deluxe Green Salad to serve with your main course?



2 pears, diced
2 tomatoes, diced
1 can of artichoke hearts
Pesto sauce 
Flax seeds
Salad leaves

If you don't have pesto at hand, you can make it using the recipe found at the end of that post.


It's simple. Mix all the ingredients until the flax seeds and serve it on a bed of salad leaves.

Side Dish: Zucchini with a Cashew and Pesto Sauce

You don't know what to make as a side dish? Try these: Zucchini served with a cashew and pesto sauce. Super simple, yet so tasty!



1 sliced zucchini
Pesto sauce (vegan please)
Cashew cream
Olive oil to fry the zucchini
Salt to taste


Cook the zucchini in a frying pan in a little bit of olive oil. Add salt when they start to be translucent. The salt with help the water to come out and leave them soft (that's how I like my zucchini). Once they are well cooked, you can make the sauce by mixing the cashew cream and pesto together. Poor the sauce over the zucchini.

If you don't know how to make cashew cream, it's quite easy:



1 cup of raw cashew nuts
1/4 to 1/2 cup of filtered water (depending on the thickness you want)
A pinch of sea salt


Blend all the ingredients together in a food processor until smooth. You can soak the cashew nuts in water for 2 hours before if you feel your blender would work too hard, but it's optional.



2 cups of fresh basil leaves
1/2 of nuts (of your choice, it can be pine nuts, cashew nuts or walnuts)
2 cloves fresh garlic
1/4 cup of olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste


Blend all the ingredients together in a food processor until smooth.

Add a little bit of water if you find the mixture too thick and your blender can't blend the mixture well.

Super Easy Tofu Eggless Salad Sandwich

I used to love egg salad sandwiches! Whenever there was a cold buffet, that was the only sandwiches I would eat. I always had an aversion for tuna or chicken sandwiches, bleh. Now I am also grossed out by eggs.

So this recipe is much better, for the environment, the health, and your taste buds!

The sandwiches are not soggy either so you can put them in a Tupperware and eat them at work for lunch, like I did.



1 pack of firm tofu
1/3 cup of vegan mayo
2 teaspoons of Dijon mustard
Salt and pepper to taste
1 avocado
Salad leaves
1 tomato, sliced
8 slices of 12 grain bread


To make the salad: Blot the tofu so that it loses most of its liquid. Put it in a mixing bowl along with the mayo, mustard and salt and pepper. Mash and mix it well until you get a mixture that looks a little like an egg salad. Put aside.

To make the sandwich: Mash the avocado and spread it on one slice of bread. Add two thin slices of tomatoes on top. Spoon the tofu mixture on the tomatoes and top with a little bit of salad. Close the sandwich with another slice of bread. Repeat the process three other times. You will  have a total of four sandwiches.

Testing Recipes: Raw Vegan Chocolate Molten Lava Cake

I was craving for chocolate at decided to try out Gluten-Free-Vegan-Girl's recipe for a raw vegan chocolate molten lava cake. Please visit her page for the recipe!

First of all, her picture is amazing and looks incredibly delicious. As a vegetarian, one of my favourite treats was chocolate lava cakes. I even sinned a few times when I first became vegan with those. It was so hard to control myself around those! So when I found her recipe, I decided to try it out.

I changed her recipe a little, to fit with what I had on hand. And I was not as happy as I thought I would be. I guess her cake didn't taste quite like I expected. You know, the deception you get when you are craving for something, and you get something similar, but it's not quite what you wanted in the first place. That's how I felt. Certainly her recipe is delicious, and a lot more healthy than the usual cake.

I needed to add some sugar though. It was not sweet enough for my liking (but obviously that's just my preference).

I also think I used the wrong kind of nuts for the crust. I used walnuts. I thought it was going to be the best option, because my raw vegan brownies recipe asks for walnuts and the taste is simply out of this world! But it was not good for this recipe, maybe I should have tried nuts with a softer taste.

I was not found of the peanut butter taste in the sauce either. I would have done without. But again, that's just me.

Still, look at the end result. Mine is not as pretty as hers, but it's not bad. :)

I will definitely do this recipe again, and post the new results. Any advice as to what to use to make it better?

I want to clarify: Gluten-Free-Vegan-Girl's recipe is delicious. I just screwed it up by choosing the wrong ingredients!

Chocolate Rocher Bars

When I was a kid, my parents took us (my brother, sister and I) to the North of Quebec.

Back then, my family was really religious, and we were part of a cult. The cult was fairly small. There were I think a total of 5 churches all over Quebec (and it only exists in Quebec). Now, I know at least two of those churches became independent. And in the North, there was only a family. Not sure how they came to know of the existence of our church, but the church members regularly went to visit them during their summer vacation. I don't know if they are still part of the church or not.

Anyway, although I think that cult messed up my mind for a long time, there was at least one good thing I got out of it (because you always have too look at the bright side of things, right?) And I got it from that trip. That lady in the North of Quebec, she made awesome chocolate rocher cookies!

Seeing we liked the cookies so much, my mom asked for the recipe, and we have been making them at home regularly.

I decided to shape them into chocolate bars instead of cookies. They are super easy to make, and delicious. Ah, and I veganized the recipe too, obviously.



1/2 cup of almond milk
1/2 cup of vegan margarine
2 cups of vegan sugar
6 table spoons of cacao powder
3/4 cup of peanut butter
1 tea spoon of vanilla extract
3 1/2 cups of oats (not quick cooking oats)

Instead of the peanut butter, you can also use chopped walnuts.


Mix the first three ingredients in a pot and heat it over medium heat until the margarine is melted. Bring to a boil and stir well until smooth. Lower the heat and add the cacao powder. Remove from the heat and pour in the rest of the ingredients (peanut butter, vanilla, and oats). Pour the mixture in a rectangular Pyrex plate. Flatten the mixture out with a spoon and put in the freezer for at least 2 hours.

It should be kept cold in the fridge after that. If you keep it at room temperature, it will become too gooey and sticky.